5 Sentences in Need of Commas

Posted: 17 Dec 2012 09:07 PM PST

Commas signal delineation in sentences, sometimes showing the break point between two thoughts and sometimes marking the beginning and end of a phrase inserted in the midst of a sentence. Here are five sentences in which a single comma, or the second of an inseparable pair, is missing, with revisions and explanations.
1. “Even when he was caught, some say he was plotting.”
The phrase “some say” is an interjection in the midst of the statement “Even when he was caught, he was plotting.” It is not enough to merely insert the phrase; one must bracket it in commas (the first of which supersedes the original comma, the function of which is to separate the sentence’s two clauses): “Even when he was caught, some say, he was plotting.”
2. “Sorry guys, she’s married.”
When directing a comment at readers, the writer must set off with commas the word or words used to identify the audience: “Sorry, guys, she’s married.” (Otherwise, the writer appears to be addressing guys who are sorry — though they are sorry if they’re thinking they have a chance with the woman in question, so the erroneous version almost works.) The sentence is further improved by distinguishing the internal punctuation to enhance the impact of the statement: “Sorry, guys — she’s married.”
3. “Now there’s a formula for ethical quandary.”
Terms that are located at the beginning of a sentence and that refer to time (now, soon, before, afterward, and so on) may or may not, depending on their function, be followed by a comma, but in this case, in which now is used as a meaningless interjection and the emphasis is on the expletive there’s, it is essential: “Now, there’s a formula for ethical quandary.” Otherwise, the statement reads like a pitch from a television commercial for a shampoo formulated to eradicate ethical quandary. (Now, that would be a hot-selling product.)
4. “Residents decide driving, and shorter trips to places like Canada are safer options.”
The phrase referring to travel to Canada is an interjection inserted into “Residents decide driving is the safer option,” with a change in the verb is and conversion of the singular option to the plural options to accommodate the additional choice: “Residents decide driving, and shorter trips to places like Canada, are safer options.” (Note that if the conjunction and were replaced with or, the verb and the form of the noun would remain singular: “Residents decide driving, or shorter trips to places like Canada, is a safer option.”)
Alternatively, the sole comma in the original version could be omitted (“Residents decide driving and shorter trips to places like Canada are safer options”), but that revision changes the sense somewhat, turning a parenthetical aside into an integral part of the statement.
5. “This city knows how to create high-rise neighborhoods while San Francisco just talks about it.”
Without a comma between the two clauses in this sentence, it reads as if one city has the knowledge about how to create high-rise neighborhoods during the time San Francisco just talks about it. But the meaning is that while San Francisco dawdles, the other city does: “This city knows how to create high-rise neighborhoods, while San Francisco just talks about it.” While is not used here to mean “at the same time,” denoting a continuation of one thought; it is a synonym for whereas, and the comma signals a new thought.

English 11 week of December 17

Reading time will focus on main point and inference. Activities will include identify the focus of a paragraph; identify the main conflict of story; inference activity, “Reading Between the Lines”; identifying cause and effect relationships.

One simplified model for teaching inference includes the following assumptions:

• We need to find clues to get some answers.
• We need to add those clues to what we already know or have read.
• There can be more than one correct answer.
• We need to be able to support inferences.

Monday – Viewing Simon Birch for memoir unit. Homework: Memoir writing (150-250 words) Create a national holiday. What would be the date and what would it be about?

Tuesday – Viewing Simon Birch.

Wednesday – Viewing Simon Birch. Homework: Memoir writing 6 word memoir.

Thursday – Viewing Simon Birch.

Friday – Viewing Simon Birch.

Example for memoir: Someone who influenced you

Homework: Memoir writing (150-250 words) Write about someone who influenced your life in some important way. Show that person in action.


     Joseph, my grandfather, had a soft step for such a big man; especially, when we were in the woods. The woods were always the place we went to when I was young. Grandfather would show me the tracks of different animals. He pointed out which trees were sassafras and the delicious drinks that could be made from the leaves. He was the first to take me to see the sap run from the maple trees in the spring, and had me close my eyes when I first tasted maple candy.

     I admired his passion for the outdoors. I felt proud of Grandfather as he stood in front of a group of students teaching hunter safety. He would stress the importance of being aware of your firearm at all times, and he would display broken or discarded shotguns and rifles that were mismanaged by others in the past. So many students are better for their understanding of hunter safety. I am better for having such a grandfather in my life.

It's all in the details

Try your hand at this game at
http://www.proprofs.com/quiz-school/story.php?title=identify-supporting-details

The right word can make all the difference:

Quiz on lose or loose at http://www.chompchomp.com/hotpotatoes/wordchoice04.htm

Mysteries can be solved with details:
Try you hand at solving the mystery at http://www.funtrivia.com/playquiz/quiz1971331692b20.html

3 Cases of Distracting Usage

Posted: 06 Dec 2012 08:38 PM PST

Word choice is problematic when the sense of a selected word, when read in association with another word, creates a diversion for the reader that distracts from the content. Here are three sentences with distracting words, along with solutions for revising them to avoid the distraction.
1. “He turned heads in scientific circles when he proposed that climate change is the driving force in human revolution.”
The association of the past tense of the idiom “turn heads,” which means “draw sudden attention,” with the phrase “scientific circles,” a figure of speech in which the plural form of circle refers to a broad community of people with a common interest, unfortunately suggests that the subject caused the heads of his colleagues to rotate in a scientific manner. Revise one expression or the other: “He turned heads in the scientific community when he proposed that climate change is the driving force in human revolution” or “He attracted attention in scientific circles when he proposed that climate change is the driving force in human revolution.”
2. “The redrawn logo has drawn criticism.”
The proximity of the adjective redrawn, which refers to the act of drawing an illustration over again, and the use of drawn as a verb to mean “attracted” creates an unintentionally humorous collision of ideas. Again, reword the adjective or the verb: “The revised logo has drawn criticism” or “The redrawn logo has attracted criticism.”
3. “An Ohio city will settle a lawsuit over 911 calls.”
Because over is often used in place of “more than” to mean “an excess of,” the reader may momentarily assume that the number 911 is an amount rather than a sequence of digits that constitute a phone number. Replace over with another word (“An Ohio city will settle a lawsuit regarding 911 calls”) or, better, provide unambiguous details: “An Ohio city will settle a lawsuit regarding emergency 911 calls” or “An Ohio city will settle a lawsuit regarding calls made to 911.”

English 11 week of December 10

Reading focus – Details and Main ideas. 

Activities will include “Who dun it?” 5 minute mysteries; identify details from student memoir writings; tying knots; and the book Rezoom.

Monday – Share your theme song from memoir writing.

Tuesday – Identify an idea from a memoir writing – complete a timed, in class writing about that idea. Homework: Memoir writing (150-250 words) Write about someone who influenced your life in some important way. Show that person in action.  

Wednesday – Editing a memoir for current sentence fluency focus area – submit notebook for review.

Thursday – Socratic question – What is truth? Work with a partner, then come together in a big group discussion. Homework: Memoir writing (150-250 words) Write about two people or places or things that pull you in different directions.

Friday – begin Simon Birch