Ms. Luttke

5 Sentences in Need of Commas

Posted: 17 Dec 2012 09:07 PM PST

Commas signal delineation in sentences, sometimes showing the break point between two thoughts and sometimes marking the beginning and end of a phrase inserted in the midst of a sentence. Here are five sentences in which a single comma, or the second of an inseparable pair, is missing, with revisions and explanations.
1. “Even when he was caught, some say he was plotting.”
The phrase “some say” is an interjection in the midst of the statement “Even when he was caught, he was plotting.” It is not enough to merely insert the phrase; one must bracket it in commas (the first of which supersedes the original comma, the function of which is to separate the sentence’s two clauses): “Even when he was caught, some say, he was plotting.”
2. “Sorry guys, she’s married.”
When directing a comment at readers, the writer must set off with commas the word or words used to identify the audience: “Sorry, guys, she’s married.” (Otherwise, the writer appears to be addressing guys who are sorry — though they are sorry if they’re thinking they have a chance with the woman in question, so the erroneous version almost works.) The sentence is further improved by distinguishing the internal punctuation to enhance the impact of the statement: “Sorry, guys — she’s married.”
3. “Now there’s a formula for ethical quandary.”
Terms that are located at the beginning of a sentence and that refer to time (now, soon, before, afterward, and so on) may or may not, depending on their function, be followed by a comma, but in this case, in which now is used as a meaningless interjection and the emphasis is on the expletive there’s, it is essential: “Now, there’s a formula for ethical quandary.” Otherwise, the statement reads like a pitch from a television commercial for a shampoo formulated to eradicate ethical quandary. (Now, that would be a hot-selling product.)
4. “Residents decide driving, and shorter trips to places like Canada are safer options.”
The phrase referring to travel to Canada is an interjection inserted into “Residents decide driving is the safer option,” with a change in the verb is and conversion of the singular option to the plural options to accommodate the additional choice: “Residents decide driving, and shorter trips to places like Canada, are safer options.” (Note that if the conjunction and were replaced with or, the verb and the form of the noun would remain singular: “Residents decide driving, or shorter trips to places like Canada, is a safer option.”)
Alternatively, the sole comma in the original version could be omitted (“Residents decide driving and shorter trips to places like Canada are safer options”), but that revision changes the sense somewhat, turning a parenthetical aside into an integral part of the statement.
5. “This city knows how to create high-rise neighborhoods while San Francisco just talks about it.”
Without a comma between the two clauses in this sentence, it reads as if one city has the knowledge about how to create high-rise neighborhoods during the time San Francisco just talks about it. But the meaning is that while San Francisco dawdles, the other city does: “This city knows how to create high-rise neighborhoods, while San Francisco just talks about it.” While is not used here to mean “at the same time,” denoting a continuation of one thought; it is a synonym for whereas, and the comma signals a new thought.